Scene One: The Haggard's living room. Riker is sitting on the couch as I walk back from the bathroom and sit down.
Me: The toilet is running again. I can hear it.
Riker: Yeah, you were the last one to use it. That always happens when you use it. You were literally just in there.
Me: yeah....
(15 minutes later Riker gets up to get a glass of water)
Me: Oh, good, while you're up will you jiggle the handle of the toilet? It's driving me nuts.
Riker: [shakes his head and walks off]
Me: Thanks, babe! I love you!
Scene Two: Both Riker and I are walking in the door after work. I walk to the back room while Riker takes his shoes off
Riker: Hey, hon, is this your jacket? The one sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor...
Me: Yeah, I just took it off.
Riker: Ok.... [he continues from the kitchen towards the living room] and I'm guessing these are your shoes and socks?
Me: [in the bathroom] Yep. [Tosses her pants out the door]
Riker: And there are your pants...I will never lose you because you leave a trail of clothes no matter where you go. We really should try to work on that.
Two Days Later: Repeat scene
Riker: Hey, hon, is this your jacket? The one sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor...
Me: Yeah, I just took it off.
Riker: Ok.... [he continues from the kitchen towards the living room] and I'm guessing these are your shoes and...hey you put your socks in the dirty clothes basket! Good job, sweetie!
Me: Gold Star for Me!
Scene Three: It's the weekend and Riker and I decide we need to clean the house really well.
Riker: So, I'll do the kitchen if you do the bathroom and living room.
Chelsea: No problemo!
[Riker ROCKS at cleaning! Seriously, he cleaned the oven and mopped and did dishes and was just awesome. And naturally finished before me because I got distracted by the fact that I put in my yoga dvd and decided to do that instead.]
(20 minutes later when I am actually in the bathroom scrubbing the sink and then moving to the toilet)
Riker talking as he walks down the hall: Hey Chels, how's it going in there? I just finished the.... Is that MY TOOTHBRUSH YOU ARE USING TO SCRUB THE SINK AND TOILET?!
Me: Um....well it is A toothbrush. What color is yours? I just grabbed one and started using it.
Riker: That was my favorite toothbrush!
Me: Oh. Sorry! Here's a new one. I found it in the cupboard... (then I smiled winningly and he shook his head and walked off)
Scene Four: It's 8 pm and I'm exhausted and sick so I decide to go to bed. I have turned on my amazing humidifier my mom got me for Christmas and am just relaxing. Riker is watching TV while I drift off to sleep. A short time later I hear the TV shut off and Riker walking to our bed.
Lots of creaking of floor boards and stumbling over blankets and then a scream.
Riker: What!? WHAT!? What happened!
Me: (still mostly asleep and now covered in something wet and smelling of peppermint oil) Well, ugh, that, you. UGH.
Riker: Oh. Sorry! I didn't know your humidifier was plugged in to this thingy. I didn't know why it was up over here so I pulled on it to plug in my phone! Are you ok?
Me: Ugh. Well. Ugh.
Riker: Here, trade me sides of the bed, I'll sleep where it's wet!
Me: Ugh. No. I'm trying to sleep. Go to bed. Ugh.
Happy Marriage to us! We love our life and all the ridiculousness it entails. To celebrate we went and watched a movie. We are exciting, it's true.
LOVE,
The Haggards
No comments:
Post a Comment