How to Be A Good Wife.

So you may be asking if I am qualified to even be giving out such advice as to how to be a wife let alone a GOOD wife. Well, I'm not. I can, however, give you some advice in my 3 weeks of being married of what NOT to do.

1. Don't be a blanket hog. Apparently you are no longer the only person in your bed who gets cold at night.

2. Don't be a bed hog. Once again, you are not the only one in your bed. No matter how small that bed is.

3. Warn your new husband that you may twitch, sleep talk, sleep walk, and sleep sing. If he isn't aware of this it may cause some great alarm on your honeymoon night. And every night after until he gets used to it. If you are thinking ahead you may have him sign something that says he understands you are not responsible for actions that occur between certain sleeping hours.

4. If you burn something for dinner, don't try to do it again that same night. Odds are you will burn it a second time. (ie french bread)

5. Don't tell your husband he has a blackhead and you can just get it real quick. It's probably a freckle.

6. DO vacuum. However, don't think that you can just get reallllly close to his phone charger and it will be fine. You will probably suck it up into the vacuum. IF this does happen and your vacuum has an automatic shut off feature, don't try to turn it off because this may result in simply turning the vacuum back on and the iPhone charger to be shred (seriously) into little pieces. And just pick up the resulting pieces, don't try to vacuum them up once you fix the vacuum.

7. Remember how much you love your husband and that you vacuumed his phone charger up when he accidentally breaks your antique plate.

Go ahead, grab that tush. It's yours now!

So in love.